When Mussolini Posed Me a Question

A few weeks ago, Quora introduced a policy essentially granting a carte-blanche to users with regard to their usernames. While it was nonetheless possible for perfectly false names presented with a veneer of believability, it is now possible for users to wallow in perfectly ludicrous names such as ‘I am the Senate’. It was not therefore too bewuthering to be posed a question by a resurrected Benito Mussolini, “Does anybody in India admire Hitler or Mussolini now?” I gave the following answer:

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The Estimable Mr. Benito Mussolini

To what do I owe the honour of being posed this question by Your Excellency himself? Indeed, such leaders as you have more pressing matters to attend to than inconsequential questions from such plebes as me. Deviating thus from the ostensible votaristic reaction that seemed to sully my first sentence, I must proceed to answer your question in good faith.

With a soul that quakes with fear at the very thought of disobliging you, I must command all the courage at my disposal to reveal to you that, while it is not for me to answer on behalf of my fellow plebes, I do most certainly not admire either you or the Fuhrer. Times, as you can unquestionably behold in person, have changed, and even by the generally racist paradigms of the early twentieth century, Hitler’s conduct had been morbidly beyond redemption. While the aversion towards you appears considerably benign in comparison, I derive the general impression that you are not highly regarded either, with one of the pop culture television series going so far as to describe a movie antagonist as the ‘Asgardian Mussolini’. That seems to be the best allegory so far from those who know you. In India, there seems to prevail an apathy and ignorance of you, whereas some sections seem curiously interested in Hitler’s autobiography while not truly exalting him. I had best not bordered the realm of apostasy against you by means of elaboration on how sordid both of you must appear to the average morality of the twenty-first century.

Most assuredly, however, I have the effrontery to so say not out of any sentiment of perfidy towards you but out of a sincere desire to see you command once again the respect of people the world over. That, I deferentially submit, is best achieved not through terror but unfeigned popular appeal.

That you have discerned the momentousness of posing a question on this blinkered question-and-answer website of repute is testimony to your estimable intellect, but I must with deference recommend greater tact with regard to your name, lest an author pen a flippant answer in response to a question from you, feigning his undying fidelity towards you, most unlike me.

Yours Baroquely